Not Brian's Day
by JustSomeAnonymousWriter
Summary: Brian messes with one of Stewie's inventions he found in his lab only to regret it later on


Its afternoon in Quahog with nice weather out and Brian has just entered Stewie's room. "Hey Stewie" said Brian as he opened the door while wearing a light blue dress shirt." Does this shirt look good on me, I'm going on a date tonight. Her name is Stacy and she...". Brian realises that Stewie isn't in his room. "Oh, your not here".

Just as Brian was about to leave the room an explosion blasted through Stewie's wall on the right hand side sending Stewie flying. "HOLY S**T" Brian screamed. " WHAT THE F**K WAS THAT?". Stewie regains consciousness barely able to stand up. "Ow" Stewie moaned in pain."Clearly that was something I never should have attempted to do in the first place".

Brian runs to Stewie helping him stand up and walking him to his crib for him to lie down."Stewie, what was that?" asked Brian. "What happened you almost died"."Oh that?" said Stewie."I was just testing a new invention. I must have miscalculated and it exploded"."What were you making in there" asked Brian. "Oh just a Space machine" explained Stewie. "I was making it so it can create portals so I can get to places quicker. The teleporter I made for our Vegas trip was kind of a bust. It created duplicated of us instead of transporting us. Remember that Brian?".

"Yeah I remember" said Brian."Now come on Brian" Stewie said as he got out of his crib."Help me clean out my lab". "You have a lab?" asked Brian. "Well do you think I just keep my inventions lying around cluttering my room, where everybody can see them?" exclaimed Stewie. "No, I store everything I make in my lab, keeping them hidden so no one can find them"."Oh yeah then why do you keep your time machine out in the middle of your room" Brian pointed out."Well you try hauling that thing in my lab" said Stewie.

Brian and Stewie make their way into the huge hole in the wall created by

the explosion and inside the wall is Stewie's lab."Stewie" said Brian."How did you manage to cram a huge lab into the wall"."Eh, bigger on the inside" Stewie explained. "What?" asked Brian."You know what? Never mind, I'm not gonna bother asking". Stewie gets to work cleaning out the debris and Brian extinguishing the flames.

Brian notices Stewie's Carbonite Freezing Gun lying around on the table."Huh, I wonder what this does?" Brian wondered. just as he was about to aim, Stewie picked up another blaster which he fired at Brian leaving him unharmed but disintergrating his dress shirt."AAAAAHHHHH"Brian screamed."Hey, next time try not to touch my things" Stewie warned."You don't know what this stuff does". "What the hell" Brian shouted. "You could have killed me, what was that?". "Would you relax" said Stewie. "Its a Defabricator Gun, it only disintergrates fabric you'll be fine".

"Damn it Stewie I just bought that shirt" Brian complained."I was gonna wear it on my date tonight". "Pfft, that shirt looked stupid anyway" scoffed Stewie."Man you try to hard just to get laid"."Wait" Brian pondered."Why do you have a gun does disintergrated fabic? I mean, what purpose could you possible have for that?".There is a white board that has equations writtin on it, with a drawing of Stewie planning to shoot it at men to see them naked."Ummmm. No reason" Stewie lied as he slowly pushed the white board away."Just get back to cleaning this mess".

Brian and Stewie continued to clean up the debris."That shirt cost me a lot" Brian mumble under his breath while sweeping the floor."I looked awesome in that shirt. Bet Stacy would have found my new look hot". As Brian continued to work he noticed another blaster sitting on the floor, Brian picks it up and aims it at Stewie who is polishing a missile. "This is for the 35 bucks I put on that shirt" Brian growled.

As Stewie puts on the finale coat of polish he notices Brian aiming a blaster at him through the reflection."Brian, don't" Stewie shouted. Brian fired the blaster but Stewie dodges the blaster fire, the laser ricochets of the missile into the wall. The laser bounces all over the lab until it hits the space between Brians legs."Huh. That did nothing." said Brian."Umm, Brian" Stewie muttered".

Stewie points down, Brian tilts his head down only to find his penis has fallen off. Brian screamed in fear "AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH, WHAT THE F**K"."I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY THINGS" Stewie screamed."NOW LOOK WHAT HAPPENED"."WHAT THE F**K JUST HAPPENED?" Brian continued to scream as he threw away the blaster he was holding."WHAT DID THAT THING DO TO ME?". Stewie throws a putty grenade at Brians face, exploding glue all over Brians mouth shutting him up.

"Sorry I had to do that" Stewie apologised. "Figured you won't stop screaming. Anyhoo do you know what a Covalent Bond is Brian?. Brian nods yes but Stewie is none the wiser. "Pfft, no you don't" Stewie scoffed."All things in the universe are made up of billions of tiny atoms, a Covalent Bond is what holds these atoms togather. That blaster you shot cancels out that Covalent Bond, therefore separating your thing from your body". Brian tries to talk but can't since his mouth is glued, Stewie reaches for a turkey baster and sucks up acid from a beaker. He then carefully drips the acid on the glue melting it of, with the glue completely burnt of Brian gasps for air.

"Can you fix it?" asked Brian."Can you reattach my penis?"."Well its going to be difficult to recreate the Covalent Bond" Stewie explained."I think its going to take a day or two"."A DAY OR TWO?" exclaimed Brian."Stewie no it has to be before tonight I have a date"."Its not like your gonna use that thing tonight are you" said Stewie."Wait are you planning to have sex with her? On the first date? My god Brian take it slow you horn dog, this is the reason why you can't maintain a relationship"."Pfft, yeah" scoffed Brian."The last time I took your "take it slow" advice I lost Carolyn"."Hey that was your own damn fault" Stewie pointed out."You waited for 3 weeks. Who waits for 3 weeks for sex? You wait for 3 dates Brian. 3 dates not weeks"."You got that from The Big Bang Theory" said Brian."You don't know anything about relationships"."Says the dog who has 20 or more ex-girlfriends" Stewie scoffed.

"Shut up Stewie" Brian growled."Now thanks to you Stacy is gonna leave me because I have no penis"."Hey its your own damn fault for shooting it" said Stewie."You know what? Just date the girl without the sex this one time. Can you do that Brian? Is that so hard?"."You know what? Fine I'll do it" moaned Brian."I'll date here without sex tonight"."Good" said Stewie."Now go on, I got a lot of thinking to do". Stewie gets to work getting a whiteboard and writing down equations while Brian gets ready for his date.

Its been an hour since their dinner date started and both Brian and Stacy had just finished their last bite."I had a great time Brian" Stacy said."And thanks for paying for dinner"."Anything for you Stacy" Brian said."What the hell am I doing? Paying for a sexless date? Come on your better then this" Brian thought.

Brian drives Stacy to her apartment and Brian is invited in to watch a movie. After the movie Stacy enters the lounge in her undergarments."Hey Brian" Stacy said seductivley."Why don't you stay the night?". Brian began to panic, Stacy will definatly leave her once she finds out Brians penis has fallen off."I ummmm uuuhhhh. Stacy I like you but I don't think we should be doing this on the first date" Brian stammered."Hey Brian come on" said Stacy."I've been wanting this since we met. You want the same thing too. You paid for dinner, guys always pay just to have sex"."CRAP" Brian thought."Come on Brian lets go" Stacy said as she pulled Brians arm."Lets have some fun".

Stacy pulls Brian into her room, she then goes to bed and gets in position."Come one" said Stacy."Give it to me"."Crap I am so screwed" Brian thought."What am I going to do? I can't let her know that I have no penis. Wait, I know. I can just have sex with her using my hands and mouth"."Alright get ready for a night of fun" Brian said seductivley. Brian jumps into bed with Stacy, he pulls down Stacy's underear and begins to lick her vagina, making Stacy moan in pleasure.

Back in the lab Stewie is still trying to figure out how to recreate the Covalent Bond."Hmmm" Stewie pondered."What if I reverse the polarity". Stewie began to notice Brians penis is starting to get stiff."What the deuce?"

Back in Stacy's apartment."Brian that was amazing" Stacy said in exhaustion."Yeah. It sure was" said Brian."This sucks, I can't get any action" Brian thought."Come on Brian" said Stacy."Stick your rod in me. I want you inside me"."Crap" Brian thought."What do I do? Oh I can always just give her a hand job". Brian sucks his fingurs, once he's satisfied with the lubrication he sticks his fingurs in Stacy's entrance and begins to caress it.

10 minutes later Stacy orgasms."Ooohhh Brian" Stacy moaned."You were great. But stop delaying. Really, stick your dick in me"."Jesus christ she's crazy" Brian thought."She won't let me leave until I do her the normal way. Damn it I am so screwed". Brian then notices a vibrator on the floor which gives him an idea."Ok I'll give you want you want" said Brian."Just let me get a condom first". Brian then carefully picks up Stacy's vibrator without her noticing, he runs out Stacys room and closes the door. He looks around her house looking for some tape. Once he found a roll of tape he tapes the vibrator to where his penis is and puts the condom over the vibrator to cover it up so Stacy does'nt know.

Brian then runs back into Stacy's room."I'm back" said Brian."Now its time to get serious". Brian jumps into bed and thrusts into Stacy's vagina using his Macgyver style penis. Once Stacy has one last orgasm she falls asleep."Phew, I thought she'd never fall asleep" Brian whispered."Well this sucks, I didn't get any action. Stewie owes me".

Its 10pm and Stewie is fast asleep in his lab with his head lying on the table as Brian enters the lab frustrated."God tonight sucks" Brian complained."Ugh, wha?" Stewie moaned as he rubbed his eye."Stewie please tell me you know how to fix my problem" Brian demaned."I just had the worst sex of my life"."What? I told you not to have sex with her" said Stewie."Wait, she knows about your problem right?"."No" said Brian."I had to Macgyver a penis and do her with it. And I did'nt get a piece of the action. Thanks a lot Stewie"."Me? Your the one who shot my blaster" said Stewie."If anything its your own fault"."Ok I'm sorry" Brian apologized."I'm just frustrated Stewie. You owe me three orgasms Stewie"."What" said Stewie."You know what never mind. Listen Brian I may have a solution to you problem. Remember that time to cut of your own ear?"."I cut of my own ear?" asked Brian."What?" said Stewie."Ok I get that you were high on those shrooms, that probably made you forget but you never noticed that stitch on your ear? You know what? Forget it. Anyway as I was saying, when you cut of your own ear I picked it up. I got curious to I scratched it, wierdly you moved you leg when I scratched it. Your somehow still telepathically attached to what ever body part thats been removed and you feel what that body part feels as if its still attached to you"."What? I don't get it" said Brian.

Stewie demonstrates by grabbing Brian's penis. Brian felt a hand grabbing him on the space between his legs as if he still has his penis attached to it. Brian's penis starts to become hard and Stewie rubs his hand on the shaft. Brian felt that also, Stewie is giving him a handjob by using a detached penis. Brian began to moan in pleasure, Stewie starts to rub faster making Brian very happy, his legs start to weaken and he collapes on the floor.

Brian starts to thrust upward at the ceiling as Stewie continues to rub his detached penis. Stewie giggles at the fact he can revert Brian to such a state by rubbing his penis. Its like he can pleasure Brian by remote control. Stewie then stops rubbing making Brian whine in protest."Here, you finish the job" said Stewie as he passes Brian his penis."I still have work to do".

Brian then grabs his penis and runs to the basement."Ok" said Brian."Time to make up for tonight". Brian grabbed his penis, first he stroked is slowly making him moan in pleasure. Soon he started to slowly gain speed with each moan getting a little louder the faster he stroked. Now he's stroking his penis so fast that it felt so good he collapsed on the floor, he continues to rub his penis as he lied on the floor moaning and his leg shaking. After minutes of stroking Brian moans loudly as he orgasmed."Wow" Brian panted."That was great".

But Brian wanted more. After resting for a while, he shoved his penis in his mouth. As he first licked his own penis, Brian jumped as it felt like someone else has licked his shaft. First Brian licked his penis, trying to lick every inche of it. Soon he began to suck on it, Brian uses his hand to shove his penis in and out of his mouth. Brian is sucking and licking his penis at the same time as his legs begin to twitch and shake in pleasure until he reached orgasm."Ohh yeah" Brian moaned. After resting Brian started to get a little curious.

With his penis all wet from all the sucking, Brian wanted to try a little experiment. He first lied on his side and shoved his wet penis in his anus. Brian jumped has it felt like his penis is inside someone else anus while at the same time someone else's penis is inside him. Brian then shoved his penis in and out his anus."Oh yeah" Brian moaned."This kinda feels like a three way". Brian kept shoving his penis in and out as he moaned and thrusts at the wall until he orgasmed one last time. It felt so good that Brian went to sleep after that.

"Hey Brian" yelled Stewie."Wake up". Brian moaned in exchaustion, its morning already."Brian come on, I figured out how to recreate the Covelant Bond. I can reattach your penis"."Really? Thats great" Brian exclaimed. Brian and Stewie make their way into Stewies lab."Ok now hold your penis into position" Stewie ordered. Brian did as he was told, he positioned his penis between his legs. Stewie fired a blaster and it reattatches Brian penis."Hey is worked" Brian exclaimed."Thanks Stewie"."Hey no problem" said Stewie."Anything for my best friend. Oh just one more thing". Stewie kicked Brian in the balls making Brian collapes as he held his penis in pain."NEVER TOUCH MY STUFF EVER AGAIN" Stewie shouted. Stewie left the lab leaving Brian to squirm in pain on the floor.


End file.
